I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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