Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
