I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
