Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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