Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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