I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize
