Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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