Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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