he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This baby is an asshole
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
