So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Can you bring me the toilet please
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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