Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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