I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize