I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
