This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
if only i could text you this smell
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
