All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i out mim tonsoeep
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
