if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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