Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
