Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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