There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
