My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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