If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My hand turned me down
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
