Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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