And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
