So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
where does the pee come out of this thing
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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