I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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