piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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