Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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