Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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