yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
