you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
