I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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