Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I don't think brook has ever known best
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
