i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
accomplished twins. life is a go
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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