Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
