I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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