This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
