ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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