Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
