To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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