yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
