found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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