You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Nicole vs. Life
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
