i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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