I just saw a hot homeless man
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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