like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
