Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize