Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
