I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
