ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
