hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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