i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
