thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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