Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
