Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
