Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
