Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
