omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
