No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
