ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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