I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
