if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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