shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
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she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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