My room smells like vodka and shame
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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