Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
