It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
