best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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