I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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